Hey there!!! A lot of controversy has been flying around one of the said best selling book “On Becoming” by Toke Makinwa which I have read twice. “On Becoming” portrays the life of Toke Makinwa from a rough childhood journeying through the freedom that university offers down to the woman she is today.
Amazing prologue, from start to finish. Makes one question his/her purpose and the chapter by chapter quotes the book has is top notch * I couldn’t even pick a fav as they all had a lesson in them*. Going to the controversies where gender equality is one as the book is centered on Toke Makinwa’s life moments with no sparing deets to her martial issues written by her. Others say “too much information” which should be private was shared. Others say it’s “a pit she dug herself into” based on the fact that she knew her relationship was not on a solid foundation yet she felt and believed “getting the ring” would change everything. The least of the controversy is the use of real name characters. I would be sharing some lines that got to me and my take on it as well as some quotes.
“The pain started years ago, but I’d lived with it for so long at that point, I had accepted it as an inevitable part of me.”
– Ashley D. Wallies
- “You’re the wife, she’s the girlfriend. It’s
high time you started behaving like my wife; she’s just a girl.” Funny how it sounds and happens but most women are being told to accept cheating as a man’s way of life backed with the popular saying “All men are scum” What’s your take on such statement???
” Innocence eroded into nightmare.
All because of very bad touch.
Love, corrupted” – Ellen Hopkins, Fallout
- It read: I miss
you and I cannot deny or hide it, come back to me.
- Maje and I had only
just gotten back together. I was enjoying us; please, God, what had
happened again? Before I could find my voice, she said, “Maje is in Abuja..
- I broke up with Maje. But I still loved him and I hated myself for
not having the strength to move on…
- I remember
his mum praying for me, saying that God would give me my own
husband, and I found this odd as I was dating her son.
All in all was a wall of trust issues, voices of people saying “it can’t work out” to crown it all it seems there was no assurance from her man that she got the relationship wholly body and mind a 💯 .
Toke wraps up the twisting plot with these words ” I wasn’t a virtuous woman; I was a girl!
A girl with a daddy-void so large that she had laid all of her issues and expectations on a man who was still trying to discover his purpose. He’d needed a partner but got a housemate”
*deep breath* I am not a relationship expert or love doc and I am single as of now, I believe and agree that being in a relationship should be all about happiness, not just for the man/woman but for both together. One person can’t be sane and the other not and expect things to go smoothly for we all have our shortcomings and flaws beautifully wrapped in us. There’s a difference feeding your man’s ego and deceiving your man. It’s bad how women, I say women because more often than not “we” bear the thoughts of being single because of the ovulation clock ticking and are brought up with the ideology that after it all what really matters is the ring/husband/Mrs title. Toke Makinwa’s story is one that happens to a good number of individuals, cheating to lies to deceit, the list goes on.
What’s your take on the controversies? How much is too much emotional baggage for you?? What’s the deal breaker for you in relationships. Have you envisioned your relationship to go South and it goes north, what steps did you take??? Do please share your thoughts as you may just inspire someone 🌼